


From This Hallowed Ground

by Just__Sparks



Series: A Very Merthur October 2017 [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst, Balinor (Mentioned) - Freeform, Best Friends, Canonical Character Death, Cemetery, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Hunith (Mentioned), M/M, Modern Era, Protective Arthur, Uther (Mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 14:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just__Sparks/pseuds/Just__Sparks
Summary: "The first time Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys had met, they were just eighteen years old. Both had come to visit their respective parents within the same cemetery."





	From This Hallowed Ground

          Fallen leaves crunched under Merlin's sturdy black combat boots, which were worn with age. He'd been in possession of them since secondary school, and had neglected to give up on that particular pair just yet. Coupled with a pair of dark jeans, a blood red scarf, and a beat up old brown jacket, which he had owned for ages as well, he made his way to the plot that held his long since deceased father.

 

          His mother had chosen not to join him this year, as it had been too hard for her, with it being the ten year anniversary and all. He understood. There was no proper way to grieve, as he had learned over time. For some, the pain never vanished, but merely dulled. As he had only truly known his father for a year in his early teens, owing to the fact that the man was a career military man who ran special ops for Her Majesty's Army, he truly never had a steady relationship with him. His melancholy resulted from the wish that he could have known him longer, and the loss of that opportunity, rather than being borne of having known him for years on end.

 

          In the time that Balinor Emrys had returned home some eleven or so odd years ago to heal after a freak accident on another op mission, Merlin had gotten a glimpse of the sort of man he was, and what it would have been like to have him as a father. His parents, or so it had seemed to him, had still been insanely in love. Despite the little contact that either had with the other in the course of Balinor's military career, Hunith had remained faithful to him. Merlin had witnessed a side of his mother that he'd never seen before in the time that his father recovered in their home; that of a doting wife whom loved her husband unconditionally.

 

           Balinor, as Merlin had determined then, was not wholly undeserving of the faith and love that his mother had put in him. Nor had his childhood idealizations fallen completely short either. Balinor had been just as pleased to see her as he was to see his only son, whom he had little experience with, but loved all the same. Merlin, who had seen glimpses of him occasionally in splurges throughout his life, had taken great joy in the time they had all had together that year. It was a brief time of peace in the otherwise turmoil filled life of Merlin Emrys, who always felt as if he never did enough for his mother after that. In his father’s passing, he felt the weight of new responsibilities, despite her continued entreaties that there was no need.

 

           Though she'd never admit to it, Hunith missed him greatly. She missed him so much that Merlin was shocked to witness her get out of bed every day with a smile on her face, as if everything was always as right as rain. The strength his mother had, he was the first to admit, was more than he had ever possessed, despite what she might have said about him otherwise. She was a doting mother of an only child, he surmised. He never fully believed he deserved her kind words, despite her insistence that he did.

 

           When he made it to Balinor's plot, he bent down, and placed a hand on the stone as he would on his father's own shoulder if the man were still alive. Huffing out a long held breath, he tried to steady himself for the inevitable onslaught of emotions that always came with the visit. Over the years, he had gone through a wide range of feelings regarding the man's passing, and this year was no different. Gripping the grave marker, he inhaled again sharply, as if this would steady him somehow.

 

           "Hello, father. Another year, and you're still not here. Mum sends her regards. This year was particularly hard for her. I wish you were here, because you'd know what to do for her. I feel as if somehow my surviving wasn't enough. She swears it was, but sometimes I wonder," he admitted starkly.

 

            For a brief moment, he went silent. The weight of his voiced admission pained him, as he tried not to dwell on that niggling feeling that his mother would have rathered his father live than him. She would never say so, and had never treated him any differently after the sudden murder of his father either. It was just in the moments when he had returned home from work, and her eyes had gone to the door, there was a brief second after his boots had touched the hardwood floor where she would look at him with disappointment, as if she had hoped that for once it wasn't him who had entered their shared living space.

 

             Exhaling, Merlin stood up, and placed the meager wood carving of a dragon he had done to honor his father in front of the simple tombstone. When a hand clapped him over the shoulder from behind, he jumped away from the touch until he saw the shocks of golden blond hair beside him, illuminated by the moonlight above. Rather than pulling away entirely, he leaned into the touch, one he had become accustomed to over the years.

 

             The first time Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys had met, they were just eighteen years old. Both had come to visit their respective parents within the same cemetery. The only acknowledgement either had given to the other was a brief nod, before each of their only living parents had pulled them in the opposite directions towards their own vehicles.

 

             The second time Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys had met, they were nineteen years old. Both had returned to visit their deceased parents, who just so happened to have perished on Halloween night, albeit years apart from each other. For Merlin at the time, it had only been a year since his father had died, whilst saving his life from a casual street mugger, that had attacked him outside of a haunted house. Tears had flown freely this second time, unlike the first, where he had kept his face drawn up in a mask, not daring to show his pain in front of a stranger within the cemetery. This time, Arthur had offered him a pack of tissues, then trailed his father out dutifully much like he had the year before.

 

             The third time Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys had come into contact with one another, they found each other accidentally at the bookstore of their coincidentally shared university. They awkwardly attempted to become friends then, but it had fallen flat months later, as they really had no common interests. The pair accepted this and moved on, forgoing contact for months on end.

 

             The fourth time the two saw each other next, it was three years to the day that Balinor Emrys had died, and Merlin and Hunith both went out to his plot to visit with him. Arthur was in front of his mother's grave, unbeknownst to the other inhabitants of the cemetery, and he noticed Merlin immediately several rows away. A feeling deep within him urged him to say something. Bidding his mother goodbye solemnly, he stepped away to intercept the mother and son duo as they passed near Ygraine's row. After he had gone up to Hunith and introduced himself that night, he was invited over for dinner.

 

              As Merlin and Arthur hardly had any classes together, they met up when they could, between studying for their separate degrees and Merlin's unpredictable work schedule. Soon, the two had become much closer than either thought possible. From that year on, they traveled to visit their parents in one vehicle.

 

              Seven years of friendship, multiple jobs, and one University graduation later, the two had continued to maintain their steady friendship. Although they had other mates outside of each other, it was widely undisputed that they were the other’s best friend. No one dared be as candid to one of the pair, as either would be to the other. Likewise, the two understood each other, at that point, almost more than they understood themselves. Neither held a consistent relationship for long, because anyone who attempted to get as close to either of them became sorely put out that they could never compete with what seemed to be between the two men. It had long been a talking point amongst their other closest friends and family, unbeknownst to either of them.

 

               Breaking the silence, Arthur muttered bitterly, "Sometimes, more often than not, if I'm being honest, I believe my father wishes that I would have died at birth, rather than my mother."

 

               Reaching across the slightly shorter man's back, Merlin squeezed in consolation.

 

               "You heard all of that, did you?" Merlin responded, suddenly feeling just a bit more naked than any man should clad in layers upon layers of clothing.

 

               "Every word," Arthur admitted, glancing over at Merlin.

 

               The lanky man nodded as he dropped his gaze down to his father's headstone.

 

               "It's hard sometimes, knowing that I could have prevented his death, but I failed. My Uncle Gaius calls it survivor's guilt, but it's his job to analyze people for a living, so I call it a piss poor excuse for the proper term for it."

 

               Arthur stepped back from the tight embrace he had been held in, as if he had just been the one insulted. Merlin never spoke like that, at least not around him, despite their closeness. The first time the dark haired man had tried a few years before, Arthur had cut him off, never allowing him to continue.

 

               "You don't really believe that, do you, Merlin?" Arthur asked, his stomach and fists clenched now.

 

               Dark sapphire blue eyes flicked up towards Arthur, taking in the sudden rigid posture of his companion, he quirked up a slight smile, "Do you want the truth or a lie?"

 

               Rather than waiting for a response, Merlin walked in the direction of the cemetery's exit, his hand delving into an inner jacket pocket to procure the cigarette pack he kept for occasions such as this. He rarely smoked, but every now and then indulged when he could afford it. Instead of allowing him to sulk though, Arthur was hot on his heels now. Merlin didn't act as if he knew that the blond with him was acting any differently, continuing on his way as if Arthur wasn't there at all.

 

               When Merlin plucked the lighter out of his pocket, he felt a swift smack on the back of his head.

 

               "If you think you're getting into my car with that bloody cancer stick, then you have another thing coming, mate," Arthur declared, his arms crossed tightly in front of him.

 

               "If you're that sodding worried about it, then just leave. I'll walk home if I have to."

 

               "Shut up, Merlin. Just stop it. Stop it now!"

 

                "Stop what?"

 

                Merlin exhaled his nicotine laced breath into the air, watching it twist and curl through the air, while acting as if he hadn’t a clue what Arthur was on about.

 

                "You know very well what I mean. Stop this self deprecating codswallop. Do you think that Balinor would want you to be acting like this, as if your life doesn't matter?"

 

                Flicking the ash from his cigarette and taking another hit, he ignored Arthur, as if he wasn't even there. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. In under ten seconds flat, utilizing the training he had received during his time playing sports in Uni, Arthur pinned Merlin to the ground and wrestled the fag from him, then put it out on the pavement over Merlin’s head, inches away from his face.

 

                "What the fuck is your problem, Arthur?" Merlin puffed out angrily, as the two continued to grapple together angrily on the ground.

 

                Somewhere in the distance, a gaggle of teenagers were acting like fools, running through the cemetery because it was Halloween. This deterred neither of them from continuing what they were doing.

 

                "Trying to knock some sense into your idiotic brain, that's what," Arthur said in a strained voice, while he managed to pin Merlin under him.

 

                "How would you know what my father would have wanted? You never even knew him!" Merlin screamed, realizing that he would never be able to get Arthur off of him if the man didn't want to be moved.

 

                "No, but I do know your mother, and she thinks the world of you. She loves you so much that she thinks the sun shines out of your ass every damn day of the year. You're lucky that way, because at least she gives a hoot. I'm surprised if my father so much as glances my way on occasion. Usually when he does, it's to tell me how I'm fucking up my life, which includes the inordinate amount of time I enjoy spending with you. You have it so good, Merlin, and yet here you are, acting as if you think your life isn't meant for something more. You've done so much with your time so far, and you've made so many lives better, including mine. I have no doubt that once you stop allowing your mind to entertain this self pitying rubbish, that you will continue to do a hell of a lot more good for even more people around you. So, stop pretending that you don't give a damn, because I do, Merlin, and so would he if he were alive!" Arthur screamed, as Merlin listened to his words, without struggling so much as an inch beneath him now.

 

                 For a moment, they remained in steady silence after, the only noises around them being their breathing, cars on streets farther away than where they were, and the giggling of teenagers far behind them. Their staring contest continued, while the world around them did too.

 

                 After what felt like ages, Merlin relented, nodding and closing his eyes. Tears began pouring out of him in seconds, and he came to a point where he was hiccuping between heart wrenching sobs. Somewhere in the time shortly following his break in consistency, Arthur had wrapped himself 'round Merlin, rather than opting to hold him down still.

                 When the tears had ceased, Arthur purposefully wiped away the remainder of the droplets that had descended from the normally enigmatic blue eyes in front of him. Sighing into Arthur's chest, Merlin burrowed his head into it. For minutes on end, they laid on the gravel like this, undisturbed. It was only when the group of teenagers sounded as if they were getting closer, did the two men break apart, and pull each other to their feet.

 

                 After they had made their way back to Arthur's car, and Merlin had leaned against it, did he look at the blond again.

 

                 "You're right," Merlin said softly, as if he were lamenting the fact that he even had to utter those words.

 

                 "I generally am, aren't I?" Arthur responded, which garnered a quiet chuckle from his friend.

 

                 "I admitted you were right. There's no need to be such a smug prat about it," Merlin pointed out, throwing him a chastising glance.

 

                 "Fair enough," Arthur replied, holding his hands up in agreement.

 

                 Silence reigned supreme around them, for a time, as the two listened to the sounds of the night around them. Cocking his head, after multiple minutes later, Merlin looked over at Arthur appreciatively. Feeling the weight of the other man's gaze, the blond looked up, locking his eyes with the ones opposite of him. Raising an eyebrow, Merlin knew it was an unspoken question. They had been friends long enough to know most of each other's mannerisms by that point.

 

                 "Thank you," Merlin breathed out.

 

                 Arthur could have asked for what but he knew, without having to be told, what the other man meant.

 

                 "Anytime, Merlin. Out of all of the shit that has come from our parents dying, I consider us meeting a fairly decent consolation," the blond admitted, his eyes then darting over to Merlin a split second later.

 

                 A blinding smile had enveloped Merlin's features, making his eyes sparkle with happiness. Spying this, Arthur felt short of breath just by witnessing it up close. Perhaps, he thought, that was not how he should be thinking of his best mate. Before he had time to contemplate that further, Merlin was kinetic.

 

                 In an uncharacteristically bold move, Merlin strode across the distance between them, and found purchase for his hands quickly around Arthur's neck. Without second thoughts, Arthur responded in kind, using his hands and arms to anchor the other man even closer to him. Their breaths became shaky and shallow, as each of them reveled in the other's closeness.

 

                 Bright lights soon spilled over them however, which made them jump apart just a bit. Arthur remained close though, his body turned as if he was trying to shield Merlin from the oncoming car. When the lights dimmed, and the vehicle had come to a full stop, he noticed that it had lights atop it. Cursing, he waited impatiently for the bobby to exit the car.

 

                 A torch in one hand, the heavyset man that stepped out of his car eyed them warily.

 

                "I got a call about a disturbance out here. That wouldn't happen to involve either of you two lads, would it?" he asked, still surveying them suspiciously.

 

                "No, sir. We came here to visit our parents. That group of teenagers over there might know something about that though," Arthur said almost automatically, still making a conscious effort to keep Merlin mostly out of view as he pointed towards the bunch that had been a minute thorn in their side for the most of the night.

 

                "Alright then. You boys should be on your way if you've got no other business here," he said, dismissing their presence from there on out.

 

                As he trudged away towards the scattering lot of teenagers, they heard him mutter, "God, I hate working on Halloween."

 

                When he was well out of hearing range, the two looked over at each other, and busted out laughing. Arthur threw his head back, as if he didn't have a care in the world, meanwhile Merlin chuckled quietly to himself, whilst he watched Arthur in the throes of an open throated laugh.

 

                After a minute or so, the two calmed down, although the good cheer still had not fully subsided from their eyes. Reaching over tentatively, Arthur laced his fingers through Merlin's left hand. Happiness bubbled up in the thinner man's chest, as unbidden warmth spread through the former’s.

 

                "What do you say we pop over to mine for the remainder of the evening? You can make some popcorn, while I put on one of those crime shows you like to watch so much, and we'll call it a night."

 

                A light blush coloured Merlin's cheeks when he noticed the sudden nervousness in Arthur's gaze. Squeezing the blond's hand lightly, Merlin leaned over and gave him a tentative peck on the cheek, just to make sure he understood the meaning. When the man opposite of him didn't pull away in disgust, he nuzzled his nose against Arthur's right cheek, muttering into his right ear a second later, "There’s nowhere else I’d rather be."

 

                From behind them, before Arthur could respond, they became quickly aware that they were being watched.

 

                "Oi, didn't I tell you two to bugger off?" the police man called out loudly from meters away.

 

                Chuckling, the two quickly pulled apart from each other and hopped into the car that had remained behind them for a good couple of hours. As the elder man huffed back towards his own vehicle, Arthur and Merlin made a swift get away to the start of their own happy beginning. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is way more angst filled than I meant it to be, but I personally love how it turned out. I hope someone enjoys! Thank you to all of those who read, etc.! :)
> 
> Ps. I put in a few more britishisms than normal. Some of them I use frequently, while others I Googled. Feel free to roll your eyes at my inappropriate use, if need be.


End file.
